2 Nov 2009
the hairdryer treatment's nyc mayoral voting guide...
so, i’m not voting for bloomberg tomorrow b/c he’s a pompous fuck who thinks he can arbitrarily decree himself dear leader with a regal third term.
he’s largely succeeded in fashioning the city into a nuevo bordello for the developers and real estate mavens who have pushed the cost of living up while construction is stalled as far as the eyes can see.
racial profiling: still a daily occurrence. sean bell.
he’s giuliani lite, if you will.
and don’t even get me started on his war-crime fetishist gaza comments from last year.
it’s baffling to me that a fairly large number of my relatively informed and progressive friends have no answer to the simple question “why are you voting for someone who skirts term limits?”
these same folks are outraged when chavez does it or elections are stolen in iran or bought in other spots, but it’s cool here?
thompson* is about as exciting as being forced to watch a 0-0 hull-stoke league cup match with a hangover and while mayor fiefdom is prob going to win anyway, let’s look at some of his other, lesser known opponents, one of which i’m prob going to vote for.
billy talen aka the reverend billy
the good rev has been a fixture in the nyc anti-consumerism and anti-hyper corporate development activism in the city. he heckled bloomberg over term limits, and enjoys exorcising cash registers prior to getting arrested at starbucks.
jimmy mcmillan
jimmy has, perhaps, the greatest website of any mayoral candidate, ever. he is the founder and candidate from the ‘rent is too damn high’ party. sounds logical to me. and this is surely the greatest answer ever to be published in the nyc voter guide…
3. What makes you the best candidate for this office?
Rent Is Too Damn High.
word.
daniel, the venerable candidate from the socialist workers party, is probably really pissed that bloomberg is effectively buying another term with his never-ending reservoirs of imperialist capital. he really likes cuba, detests the “capitalist class and its twin parties — democrats and republicans,” and strives for “immediate, unconditional legalization of all undocumented workers; and lifetime medical care and retirement pensions for all.” fair enough, comrade.
she thinks cuny should be free, reps the party for socialism and liberation, and thinks every new yorker should be guaranteed a union job with good wages. i especially like this paragraph in her bio…
Ever since she came to New York from the Dominican Republic when she was 3 years old, Frances has faced the challenges of growing up poor in the richest city in the world. She grew up watching the NYPD arrest her friends for the crime of being poor and Black or Latino. Like millions of New Yorkers, she struggles every month to pay her rent, buy groceries, help her kids with homework, and go to school.
monty needs no introduction. he’s against third terms and has one of the best comprehensive platforms of any of the mayoral candidates, including this gem…
The Burns Administration will put a zero-tolerance anti-hipster policy at the center of its agenda.
Charles Montgomery Burns understands that New Yorkers live under constant intimidation from this public nuisance. Hipsters threaten the cultural fabric of our great city with indiscriminate cynicism and irony. They are apathetic and use their bottomless trust funds to drive up rent for real New Yorkers.
it’s going to be a tough call when i get to that booth tomorrow morning, i have some major decisions to make. i think all of the above candidates could make a good mayor. however, i may just opt for the write-in option at the last minute.
*admittedly, since my life is consumed by international relations and soccer, i have not been paying as much attention to the local race as many others have and maybe thompson really is a great guy, but from what i’ve seen of him he’s quite boring and reminds me of a 0-0 hull-stoke draw. zzzzz. plus i know a few teachers who said he destroyed the public schools or something. whatever, just don’t vote for bloomberg.
